I'll be there for you
by S. Laura
Summary: When Loki heard he was adopted he did something he regreted afterwards. Thor wanted to help Loki, and by taking him under his wing for a year they began to become closer than ever before. Loki is hurt and Thor swears to help and support him. /AU story, ThorxLoki (ON-HOLD)
1. Again watching TV together

Loki opened the door to his apartment. It was a cold September evening and the dark haired man just got home from work after visiting the supermarket to buy something to eat. The day had been like usually: he had read the book of law and then someone asked him to join a trial; to take some notes and watch.

Loki was tired and as soon as he got the shopping bag to the kitchen table, he changed his clothes to something more casual and comfortable. It wasn't nice to walk around your house in a suit.  
As the raven haired man finally was starting to make some food, he couldn't stop himself from starting to wonder if his parents would call him today. They called Thor almost every day or so he had understood. Then why not him? He worked hard every day and tried to make his way to be the best lawyer in New York.  
True; they did call him once or twice in two to five weeks, but it felt so little compared to Thor. How could he change things?

"…Uh. Again this nonsense." Loki sighed to himself. He was being stupid – again. Thinking about it and sulking over it made no difference. So he continued making the chicken pasta he was about to eat once it was done.

.

After about an hour later, there was a knock on the door and a ring to the doorbell. The raved haired man knew who it was; no one else would be visiting him this late. Rather, _he _was the only one who ever visited him. Loki made his way to the door and opened it.

"Hello, brother!" There was Thor, smiling like usual at his beloved brother.

"Hi, Thor…" was Loki's short replay to the tall man with a short pony tail and a casual shirt and pants on him.

Thor made his way inside the others apartment like he would actually live there; so casually he walked. "So how was your day?" he questioned and moved to the living room and sat on the couch.

Loki sighed and sat on to the couch as well, answering quickly, like usually "Nothing special... And yours?"

Thor waited to hear his question and Loki knew it; he had seen the excitement in his eyes when he saw him.  
And so the tall man began to tell his story about his day: how he got to help people by being a police. Thor had helped an old lady to cross the street when he was about to leave for a coffee break a.k.a lunch break. And he had helped to catch a thief… the list went on and on for Loki. Still, it was nice to hear about Thor. After all he was his brother.

"Btw, I'm sorry I haven't visited you in a while. I've been busy." Thor said after a moment of silence.

Loki smiled a little, "it's fine… And it's not like I missed you so much anyway."

At this Thor laughed a bit. His smile was something else, Loki had to admit. It always calmed him down and made him feel like everything was alright. "Nah, I know you missed me at least a little."

"If you so want to believe."

The two men who were brothers, but still looked so much different when compared, looked at each other and gave a small smile to each other.

They watched the TV for a while until Thor broke the silence between them. "Has mother and father talked to you lately?"

"No… Though I am supposed to visit them this Sunday at 1 pm. Why?" Loki turned his gaze from the TV to Thor.

"No, I just asked. I haven't seen them recently."

Loki nodded and then said, almost without thinking, "but they probably call you every day so it's not a problem, right?"

"No they don't… they usually call me three times a week or so" Thor looked at Loki as if asking with his eyes 'why do you think that?'.

Loki sighed and shrugged "really? I thought they would call you more often than that. I guess I was wrong." The rest of his sentence was muttered, but Thor could still hear him. After all, he was his brother and when the raven haired sibling usually muttered something it was Thor's job to hear him. Or so the tall man believed.

"And why would you think that anyway? Or was it a joke…?" Even though Loki was facing the TV now again, Thor kept looking at him as he spoke.

Loki answered without turning his head. He felt like he was being stupid now. And indeed: why had he asked that? "Because they used to call you every day. Don't you remember?"

"Oh yeah, right… I guess that makes sense then."

And that ended their small conversation. Loki wasn't so happy though. He knew their parents called Thor more than him, but he didn't know why. He was still on his way to be a lawyer but Thor was already a police officer, and a respected at that. Maybe it was because they thought he was busy? Yeah, that was probably it.

Though Loki couldn't stop the small feeling of jealousy inside his heart.

.

Soon Thor leaved and left Loki to watch TV. Time passed quickly and as soon as the clock was eleven he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He turned off the lights and walked to his bedroom, ready to go to sleep. He striped himself from his pants and leaved his boxers on; he slept with a t-shirt and boxers.  
He sighed heavily when he was in bed, the blanket surrounding him. He felt safe under it and soon began to fell sleep only one thought in his mind:

"_I just have to work harder…."_


	2. The Ugly Duckling

**I own nothing.**

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The tree days before Loki was supposed to visit his parents went pass quickly. As Loki learned more about a lawyers work the more he wondered how wonderful it would be when he would become a lawyer. Surely his mother and father would be proud.

Thor's and Loki's parents were both protectors of the law; their father was a police like Thor and their mother was a judge. So their whole family was all about the law. Though some might think it was weird but the family was proud; being against the criminals was what they called living. Protecting the innocent and fighting against the wrong.  
All that must sound so great, right? But in reality it was always hard for the next generation. You had to be strong, like Thor. You had to have that strong sense of what was right and what was wrong; you had to be ready to be ready to sacrifice yourself for others.  
That wasn't so hard when you were so alike with your mother and father. But Loki didn't even look like his father or mother. He sometimes felt like '_The Ugly Duckling'. _He had even read that story when he was small and felt so alike to it that he had started crying. In the end his parents had to tell him that some children just didn't look like their parents and that Loki wasn't like the Ugly Duckling at all.

"You have the same eyes as your brother after all" had his father said to him. It was true, but still. Loki didn't feel like he belonged.

But those thoughts were far away now. Even though he was small sized and not as muscular as Thor, it didn't mean he couldn't be like his family wished him to be. And so he became a lawyer; a work where one does not need his body but brains; where he could reason things and talk his way through.

Would his parents call him once he was a lawyer? Would they be proud of him? These were the thoughts of his everyday life.

But it was soon Saturday and a day off for Loki like usual. And even though it was his day off, he still thought about work and went through his notes from different trials.

"…" Loki sipped his tea from the green tea cup and looked out of the kitchen window. The clock was almost 12 am and Loki was thinking about tomorrow. What were they going to say when they heard that he was one of the most promising students in the group of future lawyers? Loki felt a little excited about the thought. But he would only know until tomorrow. So, he made himself forgot those thoughts again and kept reading his notes in his empty kitchen, in his empty and lonely apartment in the city of New York.

.

It was a little cloudy when Loki stepped out of the car in front of his parents' house. He took a deep breath and closed the car door and locking the doors by pressing a button on the car keys.

His parents' house was a detached house with neatly cut grass and flowers that were growing in front of the porch. It was perfect. But that was - of course - expected from his parents.

As the handsome raven walked towards the house, step by step, he got a little startled when the front door suddenly opened. His mother was standing there with a smile on her face, happy to see her son after a long time.

"Loki! Welcome dear. It has been such a long time!" the woman on his late 50's smiled more and just when Loki was close to her and smiling back a little, she hugged him tightly, as if afraid he would leave as soon as she would let him go.

"It's good to see you, mother."

"Oh, Loki! We have missed you so much!" As his mother said this, Loki wondered why they haven't called him, then, and almost asked about it but thought it was best to leave it unsaid.

They went inside and walked to the living room were Loki's father was sitting on his usual chair. He smiled – no – grinned at him happily and got up to embrace his son. Loki felt happy with the warm welcome, but little did he know that when his father was hugging him, his mother behind him so he couldn't see him, both of his parents' eyes were full of sadness and grief.

When his father let go of the raven haired man, the mother went to the kitchen while informing the two men she would go get some coffee and snacks.

"So how have you been lately? Is everything going nicely for you?" The man who Loki called his father asked. "Are you ready to be a lawyer soon?" he grinned a little, clearly excited about that idea.

Loki nodded and smiled back a little bit. "Yes. Everything is going great. I'm actually, uh, one of the most promising students there…" He felt so nervous when he told this. He felt his body tense up a little and glanced at his father. And what he saw made his whole being swell with a weird feeling that felt like happiness. Maybe it was happiness.

"That's great! Oh Loki, we knew you would make it!" His father smiled oh-so-happily. But there was a tiny shadow in his being, but Loki did no notice it. "Did you hear dear? Loki is a promising one here; he's going to make with ease. And he's even so young…!" True, Loki was only 27.

"Yes, I heard! We are so proud of you." And as soon as Loki's mother said this he felt so much better; as if a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders. So they were proud of him and they had believed in him the whole time… How foolish of him to think his own parents wouldn't care for him!

Loki smiled happily, but tried not to smile too much. It would make him look silly, like a little kid.

So they talked about Loki and his life. How wonderful it was for him to be so smart, like his mother. And the raven haired man felt like he had finally reached his goal; his parents were proud of him. He **did **belong here, with his family.

But it was all going to change soon.

"I can take the dishes to the kitchen, mother," Loki said and got up before his mother got the chance.

"Oh, well if you would be so kind" she smiled at him and when Loki was out of her sight she looked at her husband with sad eyes, looking as she would cry at any moment.

"Don't be like that dear. He has the right to know. I don't want to hurt him anymore than this… " He said with a deep voice, murmuring sadly as well. "We may even be too late. But we must tell him."

"Tell me what?" Loki had just arrived back to the living room to hear his fathers' last sentence.

Both of them jumped a little. The looked at Loki with startled expressions. "Don't scare as like that…!"

Loki sat down "I'm sorry. But what did you want to tell me? I already knew you would have _something _to tell me but…."

The two elders looked at the raven haired man who suddenly looked like a small child in their eyes. You could see how the woman almost began to cry and her eyes yelled "I can't do this!". The man just looked sad and his whole being felt heavy. This all was so difficult.

"…" Loki was confused. What was all this? They were all happy and energetic a while ago, and now they are silent, as if they had a secret. A dark, dark secret.

"Loki… we have something to tell you" began his father. His words were heavy and his expression was serious. "But remember that we love you still. And don't forget that!"

The raven haired man was now even more confused. He looked puzzled and turned his head to his mother. What was going on? "What is all this….?"

"Loki I we will always love you…!" was all she had for him. Loki turned back to his father, even more puzzled now if possible.

"Loki you… you're-" he couldn't say the rest of it because his wife sniffed. He looked her and saw how she was already crying.

"What is this? Why is mother crying?" Loki sounded panicked, and he was. What was so horrible that his mother started crying over it? "Please tell me what's wrong…! And mother, calm down, please…" he couldn't see his mother crying. It was too foreign for him for his mother almost never cried.

"… Loki you are… you're adopted…"

.

The sky was covered with dark clouds which were raining heavily, like the whole sky was crying. Because of the rain it was cold and many people on the streets were walking fast to cover from the rain, some were lucky because they had umbrellas.  
The man with black hair was sitting alone in his dark apartment on the couch. If someone could see his face it would be hard to look at him without feeling sad as well: his eyes were almost empty and there was no sign of happiness in them. The man named Loki was sorrow himself. He had curled up like a child who was afraid of the thunder, hugging his knees.

Loki felt lost. So lost and alone.

It was only about two hours ago that he had heard he was adopted. About two hours ago he was so happy because his parents were proud and happy for him. Now he didn't have parents, he didn't have any siblings and therefor he had no brother.

Loki was alone.

He didn't even know where his real parents were right now. Or were they even live?

How did he not see it before? Even though it was right in front of his eyes? How blind he had been all these years.  
Again his mind was set to the dark side by the story that resembled his life so greatly: The Ugly Duckling. Even though it was a story for small children, Loki had once heard that in one version of the Ugly Duckling the lonely and so much different duck is killed by its own mother. In the beginning the Ugly Duckling was somehow rolled as an egg to the wrong nest and raised by the kind mother duck. And even though the Ugly Duckling was different from his siblings, his mother believed he was one of hers and even protected him from the other mother ducks and their evil words.  
But as the Ugly Duckling's siblings began to grow up, even they began to call him names and by them he got the name ugly Duckling. Even Ugly Duckling's own mother forgot his original name and began to call him Duckling; of course she wouldn't call her precious child Ugly.  
In the end the mother of the family finally noticed how much different Ugly Duckling was from the others and as the other mothers finally threatened to banish her entire family because of the Ugly Duckling from the lake, the mother duck didn't have a choice. She had to get rid of the Ugly Duckling. But actually she wasn't so sad about it; after all it was clear that the ugly Duckling wasn't one of her owns and that the Ugly Duckling was trying to harm her children. There was no other reason.  
So one evening the mother duck asked the Ugly Duckling to come with her. Of course the Ugly Duckling followed her mother; the one who always had protected him and calmed him down; embraced him with love and affection when everyone had said he was ugly and didn't belong with them; when he was alone in a corner crying after he had been pecked by the other ducks.

But little did the Ugly Duckling know that her mother was going to abandon in the woods, far away from the lake so he couldn't find his way back.

"Mother where are you taking me this late?" the ugly Duckling asked many times, but the only answer he got was either silence, or "it's a surprise so I can't tell you".

The place was dark and only the moonlight showed them a little bit of the dark forest. The Ugly Duckling looked around and then his mother, asking what they were doing here in the middle of the forest. And what surprise did she talk about? Again the mother didn't even glance at the Ugly Duckling and just pointed a bush with her wing, saying "the surprise is in the bush. Go look for it" and shoved the Ugly Duckling towards it with her wing.

"_Why was Mother so forceful all of a sudden? She is usually so kind and gentle" _thought the ugly Duckling and nodded, "okay mother" and then began to waddle towards the big bush.

He didn't see how her mother began backing away from him with a weird, foreign disgust on her face.

"Mother, there is nothing here. Just darkness and shard branches…" the Ugly Duckling told her mother who was now almost disappeared from the place they were.

"Keep on looking. It's there. Just keep on looking, go deeper" was the mother duck's final words as she disappeared finally to the forest, hurrying back to her nest to her _real _children.  
The Ugly Duckling kept on searching this 'surprise' his mother was talking about. What it was, he did not know. He didn't even have a clue. But he trusted his mother like always. His mother was all he had and all he ever would probably have; his mother was everything.

After he had searched and searched he finally found his way out of the bush. But there was no one there. He called his mother but no one answered. It was like she had disappeared. The Ugly Duckling thought that maybe his mother had went to the bush as well to search for him and again he went into the bush, the sharp branches and darkness hurting him more.

In the end the Ugly Duckling never found his mother. The Ugly Duckling, in the end, was so badly hurt because of the sharp branches, that he was covered in blood and wounded badly. The Ugly Duckling somehow managed to get out of the dark bush and looked at the tiny piece of sky that was visible through the trees and their branches. Where was his mother? She didn't leave him here, did she?  
The Ugly Duckling began to sniff and cry. He was now alone in the darkness; lost. What did he do for his mother to leave him here alone? He never asked much and even tried to hide from the world because he knew how much trouble he had caused to his family and his mother with his existence. But still had his mother brought him here and leaved.

In the end the Ugly Duckling died because he had nothing to eat and the wounds that he had gained from the bushes' sharp branches had begun to bleed badly. No one ever knew nor cared about what happened to the Ugly Duckling after his disappearance. But that was expected. After all, who would ever care for a nuisance? Who would ever care for an ugly, Ugly Duckling?

The story was almost perfect for Loki. It was Loki's story, in fact. Or so the raven haired man thought to himself, _"Loki the Ugly Duckling"_. It was, indeed, perfect.

Loki's "parents" tried to call him almost as soon as he got home, but he had not answered the phone. They were strangers to him now. And after they had tried to call him three times he had turned his cellphone off.

What did he do wrong? Why did they decide to tell him all this after he told them he was close to become a lawyer? Was it because he was so slow about it…? But he was a year earlier than usually one would reach where he was now. Was his whole life a big fat lie? Who knew about it? Did Thor know? All these questions he asked himself, but none he could answer.

He remembered how he had thought of the whole thing as a joke but when his former mother had told him he was leaved in front of their door and that they just took him in and raised him as their son and had even shown him the adoption paper, Loki was beyond shocked. Though the woman Loki couldn't call 'mother' anymore tried to tell him that they loved him like they loved Thor, Loki found himself feeling lonely, lost and used. "So that was the reason behind all that favoring Thor" and "so that's why they never called me, but Thor". Loki had run out of the house and driven back home, fast, not even noticing the speed limits.

But as soon as Loki had almost calmed himself down and thought he was being stupid over all this, his doorbell rang.

And Loki just knew who it was.

* * *

This chapter was so hard and sad to write, really... I think I might have even cried a little ;n; Poor Loki. But yeah. Thanks for reading~ And reviews would be a pleasent surprise of course!


	3. Accidental eavesdropping

**I own nothing.**

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As Loki approached the door slowly he knew the cold of the rain would make him shiver if he opens the door. So should he open it? Thor wouldn't know that he was home because the lights were off. The doorbell rang again.

"…." Loki sighed and reached for the doorknob. Did Thor know he wasn't really his brothers? He must have known about it; Thor wasn't that stupid and probably his parents had told him. Loki was the only one who didn't know anything.

So as he opened the door slowly and saw Thor standing in front of him with his black umbrella, black hoodie that was opened and revealed his red t-shirt underneath and normal blue jeans, Loki realized again that even if Thor didn't know that he wasn't his real brother, it didn't really matter; for Loki's whole life had been only an act. Nothing was real anymore. Or actually it never was.  
Thor had said many times that without Loki he wouldn't be the person he was now, but for some reason the raven began to doubt that.

.

"Hello Loki." Thor greeted his brother happily, like any other day.

The clock was 7 p.m. and the tall blonde had decided to visit Loki after spending almost his entire day at home watching TV in only boxers and a t-shirt. He had heard from Loki that he was going to visit their parents this Sunday, meaning today, and wondered if they had told him the truth about himself and his family. How would Loki react to it? Thor knew that deep down Loki was a sensitive human being, even though he sometimes seemed cold towards people and always kept a small distance.

"Oh hi… what are you doing here?" Loki's voice sounded weak and tired. He sounded like he had been crying.

Thor watched Loki and how he seemed kind of different than usual. "I'm just here to see my brother. So, can I come in?" As soon as Thor said the word 'brother' Loki's expression changed from sad to angry, and then it changed to desperate until it was blank from emotions.

"Yeah… Come in."

And so Loki walked back to the living room soon followed my Thor.

"Is everything alright, Loki?" Thor asked when he had looked at the raven haired man's empty expression long enough for his liking.

"Nothing's wrong…. I'm fine" was Loki's answer and he sighed. He looked out of the window, eyes full of sadness as well as wonder. He was silent for a while, thinking, before he asked with a very silent and distant voice, "Thor… why do we look so different? We don't look like brothers at all."

From that Thor was now positive that Loki knew that he was adopted. He wouldn't ask something like that from him; it would be too embarrassing to do. Though, Thor wasn't 100% sure about it. And because of this he decided to answer the raven haired man's question with a safe answer: "I don't know… maybe it's because of the genes?"

And that was the right answer anyway.

"But mom and dad both have a strong build… like you." Loki glanced at Thor quickly and shook a bit as a shiver ran down his spine, suddenly feeling a little cold. "I am nothing like you…"

To Thor, and probably to Loki too, the whole scene was nostalgic. The almost same thing had happened before with Loki asking the same question. At this, Thor began to feel nervous; what was supposed to happen next? Was Loki going to cry? Or would he yell at him? Or possibly both…? Thor still tried though, "that's not true, Loki… we do have the same eyes, don't we?" The bigger man tried to force a smile on his face.

"But that's not very much, is it?" Finally Loki looked at Thor. But he must have found it difficult; it felt like looking at a stranger. And when Thor tried to open his mouth to say something, anything, but Loki cut him short and said harshly, "they told me the truth. The truth that you must've know already… So you can just pretending already."

Every word was like a bullet to Thor's heart; it hurt so badly. And the way Loki had said them… like they were his last words. The blond who used to be Loki's brother could only guess how hard all this must be for Loki. His hands began to sweat has he also stuttered when speaking "L-Loki… I… I'm so sorry…"

"It's nothing really…" Loki started and then almost snapped his head towards Thor, "my whole life has just been a big, fat, **lie.**" The last words from his mouth were full of agony, anger and pain. He said them so heavily and almost sounded like he was going to cry over them.

Thor didn't know what to feel. He had heard the pain in his brother's voice but… Or should he even call him his brother anymore...? –No, what was he thinking! Loki would always be his brother. No matter what happened. "I'm sorry Loki… I wanted to tell you sooner but mother and father didn't let me and…" Thor was lost with his words. He had no clue what to say or do.

"I don't care what they wanted to say or do." Loki sounded so lost to Thor that now _he_ began to feel like crying. Loki did not deserve this.

"Loki…." Thor watched the others pained expression. "But you will always be my brother." Thor's words were strong and honest. After all, Loki was his only brother and best friend. No way was he somehow going lose him after everything they've been through.

"Cut the crap, Thor" The raven haired spat and got up quickly, soon followed by Thor. He walked to his bedroom and shut the door. "Please leave my house."

And so Thor leaved. He didn't want to make Loki angrier than he already was. But when the blond got out of the other's apartment with his umbrella, it was raining harder. He opened the umbrella and started to walk back home. He now started to feel sad and painful for what Loki had gone through and he soon felt a tear roll down his cheek. He realized just how horrible this all must be for Loki… And Thor usually never cried.  
And alas, even now he wiped the small salty tear away and continued to walk back home faster; else he would have turned around and ran to comfort Loki, even by force.

.

Loki was on Thor's mind ever since last Saturday. It had been two days since his former brother had heard he was adopted. The blond couldn't concentrate when at work and he was scolded by his co-workers. But he couldn't help it; just the thought of Loki suffering alone because the truth was revealed…  
It's not like he didn't try contacting Loki, but the other just hadn't answered his calls or opened the door to him when he had visited him. He even had stood behind his door for an hour but Loki didn't still open the door.

Thor had never been angry at his parents. And it was so foreign for him to be angry at them right now because of Loki. After all, Loki was one of the closest people to him and most probably the most important. That's why Thor was mad at his parents; how couldn't they have kept the truth from him for so long? And Thor was angry at himself as well because of the same reason. He and his parents had hurt Loki over 20 years without knowing it… And the most painful thing was that Loki had somehow always known it. Because after all, he didn't look like mother or father. The only thing that was the same in the two was their blue eyes. But Loki had some green in them so there goes that as well…

After work on Wednesday Thor leaved to his parents' house to talk to them. When he arrived he felt his anger growing. It was scary for him, but he knew how to control that anger.

They had an argument, a big argument. Thor was so annoyed and angry at his parents for Loki. He asked them that did they know how much Loki was probably hurt by the truth and that what he must be feeling right now. But all he got was his mothers' tears and his fathers' silence.

Thor left the house and went home quickly. Or so he thought he would do, but he, for some reason, drove in front of Loki's apartment. It wasn't the first time.  
And again Thor rang the doorbell but no one opened the door. He stood there and rang the doorbell a couple of times, but like he suspected, no one opened it to him.

Almost a week had passed slowly for Thor. And all he thought was Loki. He wanted to see him and talk to him. Surely Loki would be calmed down by now…  
And so Thor headed to Loki's apartment again after work. He hoped and hoped that the raven haired man would listen to him and let him in. All he wanted to do was talk.

It was getting dark as the clock was almost eight in the evening and Thor closed the door of his car. He began to walk towards Loki's door and breathed in and out deeply. He didn't exactly know what he was going to say if the other was going to open the door for him. Maybe if he just went with the flow this time? Say what he wanted. Yeah. That he should do.

When Thor finally was in front of the door and knocked, something weird happened.

As soon as his fist hit the door, there was a light 'click' sound and the door opened.

"…what?" he asked with a whisper and tilted his head to peer inside. No lights were on in the hallway or in the living room. He did saw Loki's shoes and his black jacket on the coat rack so the raven was home. But how come the door wasn't closed?

And then it hit Thor. Loki must've closed to door with too little strength. It wasn't the first time it happened but Thor had noticed it when he leaved that one time. So that's why. Thor sighed. One day the other would be I trouble because of it.

Thor felt like he was a thief as he stepped inside, closing the door silently behind him. He didn't know why he did this; it was weird for him, he was supposed to be a cop. Oh well.

Thor walked silently in Loki's apartment, searching his former brother inside. Because the blond headed walked so silently, it didn't last long until he heard someone's voice coming from the bedroom. It was of course Loki's and guessing from the short silence between his talking, Thor guessed he was talking to his phone. He walked towards the bedroom, thinking about that maybe he should he knock on the door, until he began to eavesdrop without noticing. At first he couldn't make out what Loki and the other were talking about but after a while he froze from the words.

"Yes…. that's what we agreed, right? Yes… no. I just wanted the house very messy. And they can't be there when it happens…. I guess so… I think they should be gone after one o'clock…. No, that would be too risky…. yeah, the house has two floors. The bedroom is the most important and the living room, where all they pictures are…."

What was he talking about? Who was Loki talking about? Thor frowned more. It all sounded too familiar… This house sounded like their parents' house. Yes, it was, because all the photos were placed there and his parent's took a walk at twelve or at one o'clock on Saturdays… No but maybe his police reasoning was working too fast again.

"Yes, at Saturday next week…. no, nothing small… I want all the photos of their family destroyed… I said I'd pay after it….yes…"

There was then a longer silence as the other talked.

But that wasn't Thor's problem. The problem was that Thor was beginning to fear the worst. Again he thought about his police reasoning; it sometimes thought about more than it should've have, only thinking negative thing and what was the worst thing to happen in a situation. But all that talking about destroying some photos... And the time and place… It all sounded so horrible because… because it sounded like his parents' house.

"Ha…! After all they did to me through all these years… I don't care about them. I know their son is a police. It has nothing to do with it! Just do what I tell you to do and I pay you."

Thor didn't stay to listen the end of the conversation. He couldn't, it was too unrealistic. What was Loki doing? Why would he do something like that?

Thor didn't know anything but one thing: he had to stop what was going to happen. Maybe it was a misunderstanding, but if it wasn't, something terrible was going to happen. And as a police it was Thor's responsibility to take care of it. Even if it meant he was going to act against Loki.

And so Thor leaved the apartment quickly and as soon as he got into his car he drove to the police station, his heart full of confusion and hurt.

"_Loki… Why?" _

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__So here is the third chapter! I hope you liked it. I know that ending of it was a bit...uh, weird, so sorry about it. The next chapter is going to be much more longer, or so I hope! :3 And please review ;n; It makes me jump from joy when ever I get one. And related to that: thanks to "MirrorFlower and DarkWind" for the reviews! They make me so happy~ Also thanks to everyone who has added this story to favites or story alert. I have never uploaded anything to here so I'm overjoyed by them. To know that someone like this story... Thank you all !


	4. Why is he here?

**I own nothing.**

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Loki was sitting inside his car, watching his parents' house from afar. He was wearing dark jeans and a white dress shirt.  
It was 13th of September, Saturday. It was the day when Loki would have his revenge: his revenge from his life that never actually even existed.  
As Loki looked out of the open window at the house of his former parents he shivered and frowned, _"that house is just full of lies… the house __**is **__a lie."_

The clock was almost one already and soon his plan would take effect; he wanted all those photos and photo albums destroyed in that now-disgusting-house. He didn't even care if he was caught and put to prison. It wouldn't mean anything to him. No one would even care if something like that happened to him, he was sure.

And so the clock hit 1 p.m.

Loki could feel himself tense a little as he looked at the house. His hands began to sweat a little and just thinking about what was going to be done made his heart beat faster. He felt bad about it, to tell the truth. He knew how wrong all this was, but he knew that he couldn't stop it anymore either. But Loki assured himself that once this was all over he would feel better and those people who he used to call family would know how he felt – or not, actually. Because they would never know what he had felt – how much he was feeling even now. How much suffering, agony and pure pain he felt under these past 14 days.  
At first he almost thought he should kill himself. So much it hurt. But Loki didn't want to leave this world without them knowing his pain. He also thought he would be a coward by doing so.

And so here he was. Waiting for all those memories to be destroyed and vanish away; just like Loki's own life.

Soon a car pulled in front of the house and first two men stepped outside. They closed the doors and walked to the door and rang the doorbell. They waited for a few seconds until they rang the doorbell again and knocked as well. And when no one opened the door they looked around until opening the door with a key. The key belonged to Loki who had given it to the men. It would be easier and safer to enter the house that way.  
Soon one man walked to the house from the car too and entered the house. Loki watched the scene and imagined what was happening inside the house: the men probably went to the living room first and slammed all the pictures to the ground from the shelves. Loki hoped they would just step on them and then rip the pictures… Next would be the bedroom and Loki's and Thor's old bedroom as well. Loki had said those three rooms were the most important. Loki was just about to get out of the car just to look at the house, knowing it was destroyed inside. Just like he had been destroyed from the inside, while everyone had just watched him from afar, doing nothing to stop it even though they knew what was happening. Loki found it so ironic.

But then remembered Thor and remember how he said he would have wanted to tell him but his parents wouldn't let him. Was it really like that? It was possible since Thor always did as they said.

But soon Loki's train of thought was stopped when he saw and heard a police car driving closer. Could it be what he thought it was or was it just a passing police car that was going somewhere else? Loki hoped so, but that little wish of his wasn't granted when the car drove in front of the house, soon followed by one more police car that made the same voice as the first one. Loki frowned. Why were they here? No one was supposed to know about this.

Not long after his question an all too familiar figure stepped out of the first car.

Thor.

Loki frowned even more, his frown soon turning into a glare. His feet started to move without him really caring or noticing and soon he found himself very close to the police men. He saw Thor standing there, looking his patents' house with a confused expression and then looked around. Loki glanced at the house and then just stared at Thor. Soon enough Thor saw Loki and his eyes widened. The raven haired could just read his thoughts: _'what was he doing here?'_

And as soon as he thought that Thor walked quickly towards him and stopped walking when he was just a one meter away from him, maybe even less. "Loki what are you doing here?" Thor's voice sounded a little panicked.

"Who are you to care?" Loki spat and almost glared at Thor.

Thor's eyes were restless as he quickly glanced at the house and then Loki, "you can't be here…!"

Loki glared at Thor who just stared at him into his eyes. _"He…." _ Loki's eyes widened a little at his realization. "Why can't I be here?" Loki frowned again and felt his anger building inside of him _"he knows…!" _

"Because…" Thor was again lost with his words, "because otherwise-" he was interrupted when the policemen who had rushed inside the house came out with four men, one of them yelling something. And as soon as the first one, rather handsome but angry looking man, saw Loki his eyes widened.

"That's him! The one who's behind all this! It's that guy over there!" He yelled and lunched at Loki only to be stopped by the policeman who was holding him still. "That's him! Come on!" He struggled in the policeman's steady hold and glared at Loki.

Loki looked at him and made a quick, sarcastic smile and then looked back at Thor who had a painful expression, just to confirm Loki's previous guess about him knowing about all this. How else were the cops here? "I guess I just have to get into the car?"

Thor snapped his head to look Loki into the eyes. His eyes told how confused and sad he was by all this "Loki why would you do something like this?" he asked and grabbed the raven's arms, "why would you do this to your own parents!" Thor's voice was loud but he did not yell. He clearly was angry as well, but the sadness was more visible in his eyes.

It was time for Loki to snap. He glared the bigger man back and put all his anger into his words as he answered loudly "they are not my parents! They never were and they will never be!"

"What's with you…? It's like I don't' know you anymore…"

"…." The raven suddenly felt lonely but then proud of himself as well as ashamed. His goal was achieved. "Now you almost know how I feel." Was his answer and he almost felt like smiling.

"But they raised you as their son. They love you as much as they love me." Thor sighed when he heard one of his co-workers say they were leaving. "I have to take you to the police station, brother." Thor said and began to walk Loki with him to the car that was waiting for them.

"Don't call me your brother." Loki hissed and tugged his arm from Thor's grip and walked to the police car where he was forcefully pushed into the car.

And even though Loki was the one who started all this, the one who planned it all, he was pleased that he was arrested. He had broken the law and by that he was now a criminal. And all the criminals were to put into prison.

.

At the police station Loki admitted everything. He told about his plan, about what he was going to do or what the men were doing there.

Thor just couldn't believe it as he heard Loki was sent to prison that evening. His only brother was sent to prison… He knew what prison was like because he had visited there a couple of times and all the movies he had watched… It all sent shivers down his spine.  
And there were his parents too. When they had heard it was Loki behind it all they were devastated. But it was no surprise. And on top of that he was sent to prison…

Thor visited them that evening and they talked about what had happened. The men had just broken some pictures in the living room, so there wasn't anything big happened there besides that. Thor and his parents were grateful for that. But as they talked about Loki, their parents were still sad because of him. They weren't angry at Loki or what he had done, but they weren't happy either. They couldn't understand why Loki had done something like that. He was always such a calm and well behaved person after all. Well, Thor wondered that too but had his suspicions.

As they talked, Thor brought up the fact that prison was not a place for Loki, if he was going to end up there for a longer time. His father told that the crime should give Loki at least a year of probation; maybe it was possible to get him out of there by it. Thor's mother said it was indeed possible.

Thor got home late that night. It was already half one when he finally was in bed. But as expected he couldn't sleep. How could he? His brother was in jail and because of him. It was all so confusing; he had told that there was going to be a robbery in his parents' house, "he had heard of it by accident", and then Loki was there. He could have been home, safe.

"Argh…!" Thor shifted in his bed and felt that he was soon going to have a headache. Never in his life has he been this emotionally confused. He missed Loki, his only brother. The blond man saw Loki's smile as he thought of him.

And at that moment he knew. He knew that he would be the one to help Loki. He would make him move in with him for that year. Surely Loki wouldn't say a strict 'no' to it? He would be under his supervision 24/7 and Thor was a police so it would be just fine. He didn't see anything wrong with it.  
Maybe he was being stupid or too tired to think all this, but at the moment it seemed like the perfect plan. And so Thor soon fell asleep while thinking about Loki.

He would save him. That he would promise him.

.

After a couple of days that went pass with Thor doing his job and speaking with different people of Loki and his idea of the ravens probation, and Loki suffering in the prison with all the guys who actually are real criminals with tattoos and all, Thor finally had the chance to go visit Loki.

It was a Tuesday afternoon and again it was raining outside. After all it was fall. The clock was 12.20 p.m. Outside the prison it was silent. Only the cold but calm sound of the rain was heard. No one was on the yard. Only some guards here and there.  
Thor made his way to the prison to be guided to the visiting room by a guard. No words were said as they walked to the room. Thor would have maybe said something but he was deep in thought. How should he face the black haired man?

Thor sat down to the chair that was on the other side of the glass. There was a phone on the wall next to him. The blond looked at his hands and then around as he waited for Loki to appear.

"Come on, this way" was said by a strong voice, a guard's voice. Thor looked up from his lap; there was his brother in an orange hauler with a bored expression. "Sit down" was the guards order and Loki sat without even glancing at the guard.

Thor saw it then in Loki's eyes: he was depressed. Thor knew it. He wasn't happy about it, but he was pleased to know it because it would help with his case.  
As Thor looked at Loki for a while and soon took the phone Loki didn't look at him. He had glanced at him quickly when he arrived to the room. There were other people there but not many.

"…" Thor waited for Loki to pick up his phone.

"…" Loki glanced at the phone and soon picked it up, placing it on his ear and finally met the blond man's eyes.

The moment their eyes met Thor could feel his whole body relax and he smiled. He hadn't seen the man for so long. "Hi Loki" was the first thing he said to him. His voice was merry and it seemed like Loki hadn't expected that as he seemed to be a little startled.

"…Hi" Loki sounded shy and his gaze moved from the blond.

Thor tried to control himself from grinning. He felt so happy to see the raven haired man again. "So… how is it going?"

Loki sighed, "what do you think?"

"Heh…. I guess it must be pretty hard…" Thor sighed, shifting his gaze from Loki to his feet. "I'm really sorry… about everything…"

"Shouldn't I be the one to say that?" Loki let out a deep sigh. "But must we speak of that?"

"No." Thor said and then remembered the biggest reason why he had wanted to visit Loki. "Oh, yeah… You're getting out of here pretty soon."

"So I've heard… probation, right? I can finally leave this… rat hole." Loki made a face of disgust "I truly hate it here…. and the people in here… they have no manners. That is expected though."

Thor smiled a little. Loki was again almost his normal self. "I can only guess… But have they treated you well in here at least somehow?"

"Well… as this is a prison the men here are brutal. A couple of them even tried to attack me but they didn't know I knew self-defense."

Thor let out a laugh "well that's good to hear… oh yes. I did teach you some…"

There was a silence between them.

"_Why was he here?" _Loki asked himself _"Why was Thor here? Did he really just come to tell him about my release?" _Loki looked at the blond who was wearing a red hoodie and a blue shirt underneath it. "Thor…"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you… Why did you visit me today?" To tell the truth, Loki had been surprised when he heard he had a visitor. A guard had just come to him, gripped his arm and brought him here.

"Huh?" Thor looked puzzled by the question but then smiled at Loki like he always does; with pure affection. "Can't I visit my brother?"

At that Loki felt himself frown. And before Loki could say something back at that Thor interrupted him, "or if you don't like that, then can I at least say I wanted to visit my closest and best friend?"

"…" Loki was taken aback by that and he felt himself blushing. Yes, blushing. But also a bit irritated. Yet Thor just smiled at him, like he always did. _"I almost forgot he was this kind of a person…" _Loki sighed. "Well then say it like that then." The rest he muttered, "I don't want to be called your brother…"

After that Thor began to tell what was going on with the world. They talked – or Thor talked – as long as the guards informed that the visiting hours were over. Thor leaved and Loki was taken back to his cell.

Up until now Loki thought he had no reason to be happy over anything anymore. Even for the fact that he soon could get out of prison. But now that Thor had visited him he remembered how much he really missed his freedom and his own apartment, it was small, yes, but it was his. In prison you had nothing that was yours. You couldn't relax even for a minute if you didn't want something to happen to you.  
Loki knew he probably couldn't continue his normal life anymore, but he didn't really care. After seeing Thor and feeling his positive attitude, it made Loki think a little more positively too. But he didn't let himself raise his spirits up.  
But alas, with Thor came his parents as well. Would Thor call them? Or had he already? Loki tried to forget them even if he knew it wasn't really possible.

Loki felt himself tired suddenly. He had been down and tired his whole time in what he liked to call 'rat hole', a.k.a prison, but this time his tiredness was healthy. And as the raven relaxed a little in his bed and closed his eyes, he silently thanked Thor for visiting him.

.

Two weeks passed and a lot happened.

Loki visited the doctor by Thor's suggestion, but of course Loki didn't know about it. And as Thor had predicted, Loki was under depression. It was nothing serious but depression nonetheless. Thor visited Loki at least three times a week and they talked about the news and what Loki was going to do after he got out of prison. Thor asked and asked about it, but Loki always said that he didn't know. He most probably would just lived in his apartment and went to work to a café or something.  
Thor didn't tell him, as it wasn't sure yet, but Loki most likely was going to live with him. Because Loki had depression the doctor was a bit worried what would become of his living alone. His depression wasn't anything serious, but in these kinds of circumstances it was very possible that he could try something. And Thor was the closest person to him.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and Thor was going to visit Loki one last time. The raven would be freed at Friday, two o'clock. Thor felt like he was more excited about it than Loki himself.

Again he sat onto the chair and waited for Loki to appear. And soon he did.

"Hi again" Thor almost sang the greeting, which made the raven haired man's brows frown a bit.

"Well hi… why are you here again? And why so happy?" Loki still didn't know why Thor visited him. He guessed that Thor's answer would be related to the sentence 'I care for you', the raven still doubted it.

"I'm here because I wanted to see you, and I'm happy because it's Friday soon and you're going to be released." The answer was obvious, but it still made Loki a little uneasy and a bit flushed. He had no idea why, though. It also made him happy and that's why he felt so uneasy by the other's words.

"Uh, I see…" Loki looked at his a little bit dirty hands and its nails, then back to Thor who just smiled at him. Why was he smiling so much? A prison should be a depressing place… Yet this idiot smiled like everything was okay in the world. "So… do you know anything about what happens after I'm freed here?"

"That's what I'm here for, actually. I have a surprise for you." Thor said, sounding excited.

"…? And the surprise is?" Loki was very unsure about this 'surprise'. It would be something to do with his home maybe? Most likely.

Thor grinned at the raven happily. "Well, I'm not sure if you will like it much, but it's kind of necessary, really…" Thor seemed to think how to say it for he glanced around him a couple of times. But then he took a deep breath and said "you're going to live with me."

There was a long silence. It was one of those silences that were held at times like these and it was truly humorous; Loki's face was confused, he was frowning and staring at Thor like he had just told him that he was a really a girl.

"….What?" Was the first thing that came out of Loki's mouth who was staring at the blond haired man in disbelief. "What?"

All this seemed to amuse Thor, but he was a bit afraid as well. What if Loki would say a pure 'no' for all of it? He wouldn't want to force him. "I know it must sound a little… crazy, but trust me. I know it's a better option than being here. Or possibly living with someone you do not even know…"

"…" Loki looked at Thor for a moment as if to see that all this was a joke. But there were no signs of it. "…Why? It's not like it sounds so horrible but… does it have to be like that?"

Thor smiled kindly at him and took a deep breath. "I'll tell you when it's Friday. I'll come pick you up and I'll explain you then. Okay?"

"Fine, I guess…"

Thor had to leave to work soon after that, but they talked about what was going to happen before it. They said goodbye to each other and the guard griped Loki's arm tightly, walking him back to his cell.  
Loki's arms were full of bruises from all the guards' tight grips. They knew by now that Loki wouldn't try anything, but no. They still had that death grip always on him.

Loki sighed as he got back to his cell. _"Friday, huh…?" _He heard the loud 'clank' when the door was closed and it echoed around him. Soon he would be out of this horrible place. He hated all of it; all those people who thought they were something just because they had committed a crime and they had a tattoo for it. What were they all proud of? Nothing was glorious in this rat hole.

As Loki sat on the bed and just stared at the wall, he remembered what Thor had told him: he was going to live with him. Loki still had no idea what would become of it, but the idea didn't seem so bad. Still he didn't like it either. Living with someone after all that has happened and said…. He also wanted to have that alone time as well and with the blond he wasn't sure if it was possible.

But again Loki noticed how he looked forward it and thought it all at least a little bit positively. It was all Thor fault. And why would he even want to leave with someone like Loki?

"He is an idiot…" Loki mumbled silently. He didn't understand what the blond would possibly gain from living with him. Maybe he was paid? But no – Thor wasn't that kind of person.

And with that the black haired man sighed deeply and grabbed his book and began to read.

"_Friday…. Heh. He's going to regret living with me if that's what really is going to happen…"_

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So here it is at last! I'm sorry I uploaded this so slow even thought it has been ready a couple of days already... You see, my net didn't work. It was horrible, really. But now it's here and I hope you liked it~

Oh, there are some things I need to say about this chapter:

First of all I'm only 14, almost 15, so I don't know almost anything about these kinds of things (meaning prison and probation). I almost cried because I didn't know anything. Plus I didn't have internet connection either so... Yeah. And this was just a RPG with my friend at first, also.  
But I really hope you remember it's FANfiction and there for it is not here to be taken dead seriously. And that reminds me; I got a review (a hater one, sort of) that startled me a little. I was sad because of it for a while but then I remembered that there is no need to be. You see, I never have watched 'Thor', the movie. And because of that I don't know anything about the war or anything. That's also the reason why I posted it to the category 'Avengers'. Please forgive me everything that's über OOC. But again this is a FANfiction~ So please don't hate me because of it and just try to enjoy the story.

And with that I will now thank those who reviewed this story: Thank you all! they make me so happy and boost my writing xD But that's what it always does to people, I guess. -u -;;

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Finally out of the rathole

**I own nothing.**

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_Loki was inside a house or apartment. It was very familiar, but he still didn't know where he was. It felt like he was inside his parents' house, but then the room looked like Thor's living room and still it was Loki's own apartment. It was strange and yet it was not. He was sitting on the couch, waiting for something or someone; he knew had to wait until that something or someone came to him and that he wasn't allowed moving from the black leather couch. _

_Soon he heard footsteps coming from somewhere and soon he didn't see anything but a candle and a picture next to it. Loki couldn't see it well but it didn't matter because he knew what picture it was. It was the family portrait of him, Thor and his parents. Though, Loki somehow sensed and soon saw that the picture didn't have him in it; Thor was there with his parents, holding Loki's hands, yet Loki wasn't there._

"_Come on, let's get going" was said by a woman's voice. It was very familiar and Thor wanted to follow it. But somehow he couldn't move. There was something holding him still and every time Loki tried to move that something pulled him even more farther away from the voice, into darkness.  
Suddenly he was in front of his parent's house. He just looked at it and somehow it began to disappear. He knew his parents were there and that Thor would also be there but he just couldn't move to do something about it. Soon the house was almost gone and Loki could feel himself feel as useless as a human can be. He felt utterly lonely and helpless in that moment. What was he supposed to do now? _

_The world began to disappear around him as well and Loki couldn't even say anything. He was soon covered by blackness – darkness._

"…_!" Loki yelled but it seemed that the darkness didn't want him to say a word and swallowed his voice. Loki yelled again. "…!" yet nothing._

"_Thor!" he finally yelled as hard as he could, one last time. He didn't know what else to yell in that moment._

_He reached out his hand and grabbed his brothers' hand and then pulled him from the darkness. Thor smiled at him, but that smile soon faded as they both were standing in a living room, full of photos that were ripped in pieces. All the pictures were pictures of their family. Yet the pictures didn't have Loki in them even though they actually did._

"_Loki what…why did you do this?" was asked by Thor who looked at Loki with sad eyes. "Why, Loki? Why would you do something like this…?" _

"…!" Loki opened his eyes and got up, tired. _"So it was a dream…"_ He sighed and lied back to the hard mattress that someone called a bed. It had been a long time since he last saw a dream like that. Actually he never saw nightmares of that kind. As Loki wondered why, he remembered that it was Friday. He would get out of prison today.

And he was going to live with Thor.

Loki's heart began to beat a little faster. He was nervous about the thought, but then again it wouldn't be the first time he would live with Thor. Still, there was something that made him nervous.

Then Loki remembered Thor's smile; that smile that even reached his dreams. And Loki almost never saw any sort of dreams.

He tried to forget the dream and Thor's smile. It made him feel strange. And as soon as he almost cursed his thoughts, there was that everyday call of a psychopath from the cell almost next to Loki's. Then there were the guards and the everlasting shouting. Why would someone want a job as a guard in prison? Weren't they scared of all the prisoners? Especially the ones who are over two meters tall and they are all about muscles. They looked like they could break the metal bars of the cell doors if they wanted to. Loki tried to be neutral and tried to get lost into the shadows, so that no one would hopefully notice him.

In the next four hours Loki ate and went back to his cell. Again he began to read a book. The book's name was 'If I were you…' It was a comedy and at the same time rather interesting. It told the story of a man who always thought in situations what he would do instead of someone else and what maybe would happen if he said something. He had a girlfriend too and the man – whose name was Patrick by the way – thought what would happen if the girl would say or do something. The man named Patrick also thought why some people would say and do stupid things. And at the same time he wondered why people didn't do or say something in a situation that needed action or wise words. The book was interesting and it made Loki think about the same things too; why did he do…well, what he had done? What made him do such a thing? It was just pure emotion for him when he decided to avenge to his parents and Thor. Millions of people are adopted and Loki should have been grateful that he was alive and had such a wonderful family; mother and father who loved and cared for him since he was little and his brother who always was there for him. And yet, even though Loki knew this, he couldn't believe it. His emotions were too aggressive and prescriptive for him to handle.

Loki fell asleep while reading. His thoughts had yet again made him exhausted. But even though his thought had been grieving, he once again saw a dream about Thor and how he had told him that everything was alright and they would always be.

.

Loki walked towards the place where Thor would be waiting for him and he would take him home. To Thor's home.  
Loki was frustrated and excited. What would happen then? Where was all this going to go? Loki didn't know. But then he realized something: he would be free, almost, after this. No more harsh guard hands like this one that was holding his arm tight. His bruises from them would heal. But would… Would Thor treat him like that too? Meaning would he treat him coldly from now on? Loki wasn't sure of what to think of that. But then again, he didn't have to.

A door opened and like a hero in the movies Thor stood in front of Loki, and smiled as much as he could when Loki was revealed. This made Loki relieved and happy.

In 15 minutes the guards gave Loki and Thor Loki's belongings and they left the ugly, grey building; the rat hole. A.k.a prison. When the former brothers stepped outside Loki relaxed. It had been so long since he was completely relaxed like this.

"Is it nice to be outside? You must've missed the fresh air." Thor stated Loki's feelings so easily. How did he do it Loki wondered.

"Yes… I have missed it quite much." Loki took a deep breath, "I'm glad I'm out."

Thor kept smiling and glanced at Loki "that I believe."'

When they got to Thor's car, a deep red Chevrolet Traverse, a new one at that, and closed the doors, Thor took a deep breath and turned to look at Loki. The said man looked back, questioning the other with his deep blue eyes. Thor just smiled and chuckled a little before leaning closer and embracing the dark haired man lovingly.

"I've missed you. It's great that you're here now."

Loki didn't know what to say or do. Suddenly he felt very emotional but tried not to show it too much. After all it would be silly for him to start crying or something close to it right now. But he let himself hug the blond back take a deep breath that came out a little weakly; it shook like he would be crying. But Thor knew him well enough to know that he wasn't crying. So he petted Loki's back and smiled even more if even possible. Thor was a bit taken aback by his own happiness. How was Loki able to make him this happy? It was rather strange but because being happy was nice, Thor let it slide. And after all Loki was very close to him, so why couldn't he make him so happy?

"Yeah… It's good to see you without a glass of some sort to separate us… Like in a zoo or something."

"That is true. I'm glad I can hug you."

Loki let go of Thor and made an awkward smile "yeah, I guess."

Thor shrugged and kept smiling at him. He looked at him for a few seconds more, like Loki was something he had missed for a very long time. He then took a good position on his driver's seat and started up the engine "shall we go?" And then he drove off from the prison quickly, and they both hoped that they wouldn't see that building as close as this ever again if possible.

"Thor…"

"Yeah?"

"You said you would tell me why I'm moving in with you…?" As he asked this, Loki was already guessing Thor's answer. Maybe it was because his apartment had been sold or maybe it was just a joke all along? Either way, Loki felt himself utterly curious.

"Oh… yeah, about that…" Thor looked at Loki quickly, "you must not think too much about it, Loki. Will you promise me this?"

Loki nodded and glanced back at Thor "yes… if that's needed."

"You have a case of slight depression. Remember when you went to the doctor? One of my friends recommended it so… yeah. But it's not as bad as it sounds." Thor was sounding a little worried now. Well that was to be expected, of course. But Loki just sighed. He didn't think much of it and it certainly wasn't a big surprise for him. No wonder he had been a little off for a while and thinking too much.

"Oh… Well I still don't understand why I have to live with you." the dark haired turned to Thor now. "As much as I know about depression, and considering that my depression is not as bad it could be, I should be capable of living by myself… Well, of course someone should come to see me once in a while but…"

"But isn't it much more fun to live together?" Those words made Loki pause for a moment. Fun? Living with _him_ of all people? Loki knew Thor had always been a bit strange but to say something like that…

"You say it like you have forgotten what I have done…" Loki said, this time without thinking.

"…" Thor was silent for a while, but when Loki looked at him quickly he was smiling. And, before Loki could say something to fix his somewhat cruel words, Thor spoke "I don't care about that. I know what you did… I may not understand yet why you did what you did, but maybe I don't have to. You're important to me and you're still a part of my family so…" Thor took a deep breath and Loki continued to listen carefully. "So I just want to protect you. That's how I feel, anyway."

Loki couldn't say anything to that. He tried, though, but nothing came out. Thor had always been so carefree and a bit naïve, but here he was, saying all those things to him with that same smile he always held on his face. What gave him that strength? Where did he get it? Loki felt tired and a little overwhelmed by the words and sank into his seat. He was feeling so nervous and scared, and with no reason.

Why did Thor care for him this much?

Loki had always thought that all humans were weak and the most selfish things on earth; he knew this by his own life as well. In court, people always thought only of themselves. And if a family member or a friend would be proven guilty of what they have done to them, it's as they would have forgotten about their relationship to the other; like they were disgusting and unimportant. But here Thor was, sounding like everything he did was for other people and for Loki.

"Oh yeah," Thor began, "my apartment is too small for you to get an extra bed, so is it okay if you sleep in my bed? Of course I will be sleeping on the couch."

"No, I'll sleep on the couch." Loki said strongly.

"But you can't sleep on the couch. You're a guest."

"If I am the guest and you want to grant few of my requests then let me sleep on the couch…" The dark haired man sighed.

They argued about that for a while but in the end Thor gave up; Loki could sleep on the couch. Loki always had his way with Thor and it made Thor wonder once in a while that why was it like that. But as the blond was an airhead he soon forgot that and continued to drive home, thinking about how wonderful it was going to be, living with his dear Loki.

.

"Here we are!" Thor said proudly and happily when they arrived to his apartment. Oh how happy and excited he was. Loki just made him feel like that, God knows why. "Well, what do you say?" It's not like Loki had never been in Thor's apartment, but somehow he felt like he just had to ask.

Well, Loki looked like he just met a crazy person, judging from his facial expression. "…" He sighed then and looked around, "well, a little bit pink paint here and there and a flower bouquet on the table and I guess I can live here." Of course this was a joke, sarcasm, but he almost thought Thor took it seriously, because he looked so surprised. "…?"

"Loki…" Thor smiled and then laughed. He quickly went in front of Loki and hugged him, lifting him up like a small child. Thor noticed how small and light Loki's body was. It must be because of prison… Still, Thor smiled and soon let go of Loki who was stunned by the others actions.

"What was that all about?"

"Can't I hug you?"

"…Why would you like to hug me?"

"To show you my affection?"

Loki made a face and seemed to blush a bit. How cute he was sometimes…

After that Loki wandered off. It seemed he wanted to look around so Thor let him. "I made some space for you in the wardrobe, so just put your things in there."

"Alright…" was the short answer.

While Loki was wandering inside the house, Thor went to sit on the couch, claiming almost the whole sitting area. Like always.

"Do you still think it's a good idea for me to live with you?"

Thor moved his head and saw Loki walking towards him, looking a bit lost. Again Thor felt guilty over nothing and again he wanted to hug the other. "What are you talking about? Of course it is."

Loki sighed and sat on the chair that was close to the couch. "But won't it affect into your private life? For an example if you have a girlfriend or something…" Loki sounded a bit awkward. And there was also something else in his voice; something bitter.

"Well maybe, but I'm fine with that." Thor just smiled a little again, "and I don't have much life outside work…" And at this he smiled. And it was true. He wasn't so interested to get a girlfriend or anything at the moment.

"Somehow I should have guessed that…" Loki seemed to relax a bit and sighed, "You truly care only of your work, huh?"

"What? No, of course I care about other things aside from work as well!" Thor said and already knew what to answer if Loki was to ask what those were.

"And those things are?"

Thor smiled at his guess that went right and then looked at Loki, "you for an example."

"…!" Loki's mouth opened and he seemed to be speechless. Thor laughed at this only to be hit by a pillow. "_Anyway, _what time is it?"

"Maybe 5 p.m.?" Thor picked his cell from his pocket and indeed the clock was close to five. And there, since his phone had been on silent, he hadn't noticed those three missed calls from his parents.

After some time Loki said he wanted to take a bath. Of course Thor guessed that that meant he wanted to be alone, so he said he would go out to run for a while.

The warm water embraced him as he let himself slide into the water. It felt so warm and comforting and he relaxed, letting all his thoughts wander in his mind. What was going to happen now? What about work? Where would he work? Certainly he wasn't becoming a lawyer for a while… Though it would be possible for him to continue his studies… All those thoughts filled his mind and Loki felt horrible. Like this he was only going to cause trouble for everyone.

"This is so stupid… I'm stupid…" Loki sighed and closed his eyes. But Thor was there for him. A sparkle of hope rose from nowhere. Yes, Thor was there so perhaps everything was going to be alright in the end. Though, it didn't seem like that at the moment.

.

Loki was tired; dead tired. He walked to Thor's bedroom and was a bit surprise to find Thor still wasn't home. How long was he going to run? Loki yawned and went to the wardrobe. He opened it, and the smell that came from within it… it was Thor's smell.

"I'm too tired for this…" Loki sighed. He really felt like he wasn't himself. Why else would he mind about something like Thor's scent? He took a pair of black sweatpants and a red t-shirt to put on. He took of the towel he had around his waist and then remembered to take a pair of boxers too. Thor wouldn't mind if he would borrow some clothes, right? So he put on the boxers that were a little bit too big and also the t-shirt and the pants that were also too big for him. How big was Thor anyway?

Loki looked at the bed that looked so comfortable to him. And so he couldn't stop himself; he walked over the bed and laid down on to it. And oh how comfortable it was to him. It was like lying on a cloud. Loki felt so sleepy that he could feel himself fall asleep fast. Thor could always wake him up when he went to sleep, right?

And that in mind the tired dark haired man fell in deep asleep. And he slept like he had never slept before, surrounded by Thor's scent from the sheets and pillows.

When Loki woke up for a few moments, he felt that something was moving next to him. It was something warm and bigger than himself; a person? Loki was too tired to think who or what it was. He just took a better position on the soft mattress and let himself fall back asleep. Though, before he fell back to sleep, he made a guess, a request actually: when he wakes up, would the person who's lying next to him, be Thor? Could he be there when he wakes up…?

* * *

Here it is, finally! Why did it take me so long, you wonder? Well, thanks to my laziness and that damn confirmation camp I have been busy. Though the camp was very interesting...

You see, there were these two boys... And I kinda paired them up xD; But I had good reasons! The 'uke' always looked at the 'seme' with those loving eyes and... well: (and let me just call the uke P and the seme A) P always followed A whereever he would go, they always sat next to each other or at least close. P slapped A's ass a couple of times and after that he would look at A with a loving, ;w; look. It's hard to explain but I think you all know what I mean. But yeah... But hey! Good news~ I have entered the Sherlock Holmes fandom~ .。.:*・° ヽ(⊙ー⊙)ﾉ And I already have an idea for it~ And yes, it's Sherlock Holmes/Watson pairing. And I love the movies and the tv series~ So ahahah! lD And the idea is to the movie Sherlock Holmes.

Well, that was difficult. Hope you still enjoy this story! I know this chapter was boring and stupid as hell, but I try to make it interesting. Thanks for reading and thank you for reviewing~


	6. Rain

**I do not own anything!**

* * *

It was warm and Loki didn't like it. It was too warm. He opened his eyes and tried to move, but something was keeping him in place. He turned his head and saw Thor lying there, next to him, hugging him. Or rather, he was holding him still. The dark haired man groaned and moved the blonde's hand off of himself. He then quickly got up and just when he looked at Thor the other had conquered the bed. Loki looked at the clock on the night table next to the bed and sighed. It was only seven. How had he woken up so early? Though, he wasn't tired and he had slept well. He walked out of the bedroom and went to the bathroom. Loki then took his tooth brush from his bag in Thor's room. After brushing his teeth he proceeded to the kitchen.  
Looking out of the window to the cold and rather empty street made Loki feel kind of lonely. Even though he was now in Thor's apartment and nothing had really changed, and he practically wasn't alone, he still felt so… so empty. What would he do now? Where would he work at? Loki was in that unusual situation which he usually didn't come contact with: he didn't know what to do next. Everything was such a mess and only now Loki truly realized what he had done to his former parents. The thought disgusted him still. The thought of them knowing everything but then saying nothing… Was it really like that? And that someone had just left him at the front door... It didn't seem real.

"I mean," Loki muttered to himself as he sat down to the kitchen chair, "no one would do that... it's just insane." Loki sighed and looked around. It was so silent and the sound of the rain made it feel like the time had stopped. Like there was no one else in that apartment, as though as Loki was all alone, like normally.

The next two hours were as normal as they could be. Thor woke up after an hour or so and made breakfast for himself. He could have done some for Loki as well, but he said he wasn't hungry yet. He only took some coffee and then went to watch TV. Not that he was really watching it; he was thinking about all that had happened and all that would maybe happen.

"Loki," Thor began as he sat down to the couch next to Loki, "have you… I mean of course you have, but do you know what's going to happen now? Are you going to have a trial or something at some point? And maybe you should get a job too." Loki knew and heard that Thor was just asking all the normal question a person would ask. But still he was annoyed by them.

"I do not know yet. I'll found out sooner or later."

"I see. Well, you can always tell me if there's something…" Thor didn't find the right word to the end so he just let the sentence end into nothing. But that was okay since they both knew what he meant.

Loki skipped breakfast that morning, finding himself not being hungry at all. As the clock began to get closer to twelve, Thor started to pack and told Loki that he would go to the gym. He even tried to take Loki with him, but of course the said man would have died first than to go to the gym. Even the word 'gym' made Loki feel uneasy and worthless even now. Gym was a place where all the people gathered that had some kind of strength in them; people with huge arrogance and big egos.

People like Thor.

Thor left his house as soon as he was 100% sure Loki was not going with him. That meant that Loki would be alone in his house and he could do whatever he wanted. Well he could do whatever he wanted anyway so it didn't change anything, actually.

Loki was lying on the couch and he stared at the ceiling. He had a question on his mind and he was seeking an answer for it: should he visit his parents? Former parents. Would it be wise? He only wanted to talk with them; talk about his past and the truth.

"…There has to be something behind all this…" Loki murmured to himself yet again. His want to know the truth was so big that in the end it won. He only wished to know the truth about himself. That wasn't forbidden in this world now, was it?

Loki left Thor's house after he had changed his clothes to some black jeans and a white dress shirt. He grabbed his phone and the spare key from the table, his wallet and then his favorite black coat. He took the first bus and after 15 minutes or so he got out and started to walk through a couple of blocks.

When Loki finally was standing in front of the familiar house he started to feel nervous. He wasn't sure how his former parents would react to him now. Would they even let him in?  
Loki was standing on the street alone again and saw how there was no car in front of the house. Maybe they weren't at home? Or at least his father wasn't. Loki cursed at him for letting himself use the word 'father' for Odin.

"Well I guess I have to try at least." Loki mumbled to himself and began to walk slowly towards the front door. As soon as he had taken a couple of steps he heard a car coming closer on the empty street. He turned his head and saw Odin's car driving slowly towards the house.

Towards Loki.

He felt angry, anxious and scared as soon as he saw Odin on the driver's seat looking at him with a rather startled expression. It almost seemed that he would stop the car in the middle of the road but he just slowly drove the car in front of the garage. With every passing second he could feel his emotions mixing up even more until Odin opened the door and Loki felt like screaming. What was he going to say? Was the old man going to shoot him with his gun that he surely still possessed after his retirement?

"…Loki" Odin breathed out and looked at him with wonder. "W-why are you here? What are you doing here?" Loki didn't know what to make of Odin's reaction. Was he happy or displeased to see him? Was he going to look around to see if there was anyone suspicious close to them? Loki didn't know but then again, he didn't care.

"Don't worry. I just want to talk with you that's all." Loki didn't care how Odin's tone was full of uncertainty and also fear. He knew what he was like in moments like this so it didn't really matter.

"Talk about what? You know very well that your mother is still upset about what happened." The usually rather loud-talking man was now talking with murmured voice; neighbors, no doubt.

"Yes, but I have the right-"

"What right?" Odin snapped back a little angrily. "Your rights are silence-"

"Now you listen to me!" Loki let out a yell and damn it felt good to finally let some steam out. "Just listen! I want to talk with you! Nothing more! So why can't I?" Loki almost cried it out, trying not to sound as desperate as he actually was. "I will talk about this here if you don't want to go inside." Loki stated this in a calm voice, yet it was very certain, and his expression was matched to his voice.

"…" Odin looked around clearly not wanting too much attention. Not that there would be anyone to see or hear them. "Alright… You deserve to know… I know." And with that Odin walked into the house while Loki followed him silently. The short time they were silent was killing Loki. He just wanted to open his mouth and scream when the front door closed behind him. Again he was in this house that gave him all the memories. Good and bad memories, memories from a short time and memories 10 years ago.  
As they went to the living room Loki sat down to the same spot on the couch as he did the last time he was in that house. Though he himself didn't really recall it nor did Odin or his wife. Oh yes, the woman who was Odin's wife, Frigga. Or as her friends like to call her: Frig. Indeed the whole family had weird names.

"So… Loki. I understood you have some questions for us, for me." Odin began as he sat down and looked at Loki. As the said man looked back at Odin he saw how his gaze was upon him and it was so heavy. As if it was upon some criminal.

Loki sighed and tried to ignore all his emotions so he wouldn't broke and explode from them; he tried to keep himself calm. Just ask the questions and get some deserved answers. "I just… Why didn't you tell me sooner?" was the first thing that came to Loki's mind. And indeed it was a good question. Maybe if Odin would have told him sooner his… Well, the fact that he wasn't their real son; maybe all those over-dramatic and complicated acts would have been prevented.

"Would it have changed anything?" Odin asked back, "do you think you wouldn't have acted like… like that if I had told you that you were adopted soone?"

"And how can you say that so certainly? Have you seen the future? You know nothing for certain and yet you declare yourself as a wise man!" Loki spat and gave a hard glare to the old man and continued, "And I don't believe I was just leaved in front of your front door! It's just too dramatic and stupid! No one would do something like it!" Loki glared away from his former parents who just seemed even more far away now.

"…W-well," Frigga began while stuttering but failed when she began to sniff. Why was that woman always crying? What was so horrible in her life that she was always crying?

Odin took a deep breath that sounded like a sigh when he looked at Loki. He looked so… disappointed and sad; like he had just parted with something; like he had lost something. "You have always been a clever boy Loki. Well, not a boy anymore but a man. You are a clever man… Yes. I see that. And you are right," the old man's gaze on Loki was not sad anymore. It just… was "And you are absolutely right." The man looked at his wife and then at her nod Odin continued "you weren't left in front of our door. You were saved from a fire."

Before Odin could continue his tale Frigga placed her hand onto Odin's arm and looked at him with sad eyes. "Dear, are you sure it's wise to tell him everything?" she whispered.

It hurt. It really did hurt. Why was she whispering? Why was she looking at Loki with those wondering, doubting eyes? What has he ever done to her in his life other than that one time to make her like this? "…." Loki bit his lip and tried to keep calm. He was so close of breaking. Such inner turmoil he had at the moment.

Odin assured it was for the best and so the woman just tried to calm herself down just like Loki. "Are you ready to hear the truth Loki? Are you sure you're not going to brake from it like last time?" Odin's words were hard on Loki but the black haired man just nodded, letting the old man continue. "You see… When I was chasing a couple of criminals when I was younger and I had reserved information of where they might be… There was a fire in that house. A fire that eventually burnt down the building." Odin seemed to try to tell this as dramatically as he could. Maybe it was necessary for him. But maybe it was just the way he saw it. He continued and looked at the floor like seeing the events of that day from it. "As the building was on fire I heard some people talking about a baby inside the burning building. The firefighters hadn't yet reached the place so of course I took it for myself to go and find the baby from that fire.

So I… rushed inside that burning building. As soon as I saw the baby I took it from the bed and rushed out." The old man stopped talking and licked his dry lips. And while the silence was heavy and almost tormenting, Loki just wondered why Odin was telling him all this.

"What has that anything to do with me?"

"That baby was the son of those two criminals." Odin said heavily and looked into Loki's rather shocked eyes, "that baby, Loki… Was you."

That was the moment where all Loki knew corrupted; disappeared. Surely that couldn't be… "I'm… Am I… The son of…" he couldn't say it out loud. That criminals name… Laufey. "The criminal of the century" "Laufey escapes again" "the biggest robbery of history?!" the titles of newspapers go on and on.

Now, for normal people this wouldn't be such a big thing but for this family, just for this family, being somehow close to a criminal was something horrible; unthinkable. So strict were the morals of that family, so 'old-fashioned'. So for Loki hearing that his parents were criminals was like he had been told he was the cause of all the crimes and evil in the world. So he had been thought for all his life.

So basically Loki was _the son of all mischief._

"B-but… Why would you take me in?"

"…We just thought you needed a family. You were just a child back then-"

"Don't lie to me!" Loki cried loudly and stood up from the couch. "You wouldn't take a child that isn't yours! I know how you think of those things!"

"It's not important."

"Yes it is! Tell me!" Loki cried once more, now shaking with fear and frustration and above all, wanting to know the truth.

"…" Odin's eyes showed that he was in pain by this all. What will become after all this? "… I made a promise with your father." Said Odin finally, "that if we would take care of you he would confess all that he had done." A pause. "That he would surrender if we would take care of you. He didn't have a choice, really, because your mother came to the picture. She begged me and I couldn't be that heartless."

"So I'm just a contract then?" Loki asked, still standing up. "Did Laufey care about me at all?"

"You are my son." Odin said rather strongly and looked at Loki. "Laufey was a criminal that needed to be stopped. And no, he did care about you. I just… I had my own plan back then. I didn't know what I was thinking." Loki could notice from Odin's voice that there was something that he didn't say. Odin's wife was shaking and a few tears rolled down her cheek. She glanced at Odin with fearful eyes, waiting for _something_.

"Tell me rest, please." Loki said finally, almost begging.

"I… Loki it doesn't change anything."

"What won't change anything?"

"I was young-"

"No you weren't!"

"Loki-"

"TELL ME!" Loki couldn't stand it anymore. It was so clear there was something he wasn't telling him, something important. He sniffed very silently, knowing he was very close to break down.

"…I… I threatened to kill you somehow if he wouldn't surrender."

.

It was still raining so the whole city was dark like the apartment. It was silent except the rain that made contact with the windows. One could say it was nice and peaceful but for the short black haired man who laid on the couch it wasn't. He had no life anymore. He didn't know what the clock was or that was it night or day. Though he didn't really care and he bet no one cared if he cared or didn't care. He felt useless, powerless and so much alone. He had no family anymore and he didn't even know how he had found back to Thor's apartment. It was a miracle he knew where he was after he had leaved his… after he had leaved the house of those two old people. Where was Thor anyway? Probably with friends…  
Loki knew he was being pathetic but what else could he do but to just lay there on the couch and stare at nothing? He didn't know where he would start. He didn't even know what to start. He was so lost that even he himself thought it was stupid and pathetic. How long had he been there, remembering Odin's words? He didn't know but it felt like a lifetime and then again only a minute. The thunder outside covered the sniffing noise that Loki made once in a while and he was glad it did. It was as if God himself – if there was such a thing – didn't want to knowledge his silent cry.

All that Loki had thought of after he had gotten back to Thor's apartment was what he was and _who_ he was. Did Thor know about all of this? Was it really such a big deal? Where were his mother and father? Even though the old man that Loki had called his father once had told him the truth there was still so much questions. Stupid, actually pointless questions, but they still hunted Loki's mind.

Just when Loki sighed and sniffed again, some tears running down his face again, there was a click at the door and a grumble in the sky. Loki quickly wiped the tears and cursed himself. But then again Thor was an idiot and would never notice that Loki had been crying or anything… Or so Loki hoped.

"I'm home!" Thor 'sang' and so the door was closed. Some sounds were made and soon Thor walked into the living room. Loki slowly turned his head towards Thor and their eyes met for a second. "Why is it so dark in here? Surely you're not one of those who want to save energy as much as possible?" Thor grinned a bit and walked towards the light switch.

"Please don't." Loki said rather quickly and closed his eyes. "Don't… turn on the lights."

"…Umm," Thor's hand was already on the switch but took it back when he heard Loki's request. He frowned and turned to his brother. "Loki? Are you alright? You sound… different."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired." Loki cursed himself for sounding so… begging. Of course Thor would notice something like that easily.

"Are you sure?" Anyone could notice the concern in the blond man's voice.

"Yes, I'm sure" Loki sighed, "please ignore me."

Thor shrugged and walked to the bedroom. Or so Loki guessed. He really didn't want anyone to see him or talk to him so the worst thing that could happen to him was Thor. So what else could he get than him coming home? Loki sighed and sniffed again feeling even more frustrated. He didn't want to feel like this, he hated feeling so sad and weak.

"So what did you do today to feel so tired then?" Thor asked as he walked back to the living room now wearing a red t-shirt and some pants. He looked at Loki and how _funny_ it was to see how clueless Thor was. He seemed like everything was okay, not knowing what had happened the Loki during the time he had been away.

"I was out walking… And I had to run back since it began to rain… That's why."

"Alright" Thor nodded quickly and glanced at Loki. The blonde then leaved the living room and walked to the kitchen. Some murmuring and cries were heard when he discovered that they had almost nothing in the fridge. "Loki, I think I'll go to the store. Anything you want from there?" Thor walked back to the living room and then to Loki.

"No, thank you." And as Loki opened his eyes he saw Thor above him, standing there next to the couch looking into his eyes. Loki got a bit startled by this "….what is it?" Loki asked with a sigh.

"Are you sure you're alright? You don't look so good." Thor frowned as he said this and again the concern he had over Loki was clear as the sky with no clouds.

"Yes, I'm perfectly alright Thor. Weren't you going to the store or something?" Loki sighed and looked away a bit frustrated. What was with Thor suddenly?

"Why are your clothes all wet? You can catch a bad cold like that." Thor frowned and just as Loki was about to answer Thor sat down next to him.

"Thor honestly speaking I was too lazy to change my clothes." Loki sighed and quickly sat up and backed away from the blond a bit. "Just let it be." Actually Loki hadn't even noticed that his clothes were soaked. They were dripping wet and it was so _funny_ to Loki that he had to chuckle a bit. He would never leave his clothes on if they were wet… Loki shivered when he felt the cold. So his clothes were wet and cold and he still didn't care. _"This is new…"_

"You would never leave wet clothes on you. " The blonde's voice was serious as he continued "Loki something's wrong. Please, you can tell me."

"Just leave it Thor…" Loki tried but it didn't work.

"Where did you go today? Was it our parents place?"

Loki's heart almost skipped a beat. How could Thor know something like that? Or how was he able to guess it? Was this the day for miracles? Loki tried not to give any signs but apparently his lying and acting skills didn't work at the moment. "…" he looked away and noticed how he actually hoped Thor would get the truth out of him. But that wouldn't change anything. So why would he want Thor to know what he had heard? Or did the blonde already know?

"You went there… didn't you?" Thor tried to look Loki into his eyes but it was difficult for the pale man didn't let him. "Loki I'll ask them now if you won't tell me what happened."

"Fine! I went there." Loki snapped and looked Thor into his eyes. Loki had once fought against him in search for acceptance from his "parents". Thor was the one who had it all better; almost perfect. But then again, still, Loki couldn't hate him with all his heart. He cursed humanity. "I went there… And we talked, nothing more." Loki gritted his teeth together as he remembered their conversation.

"…" Thor was silent after that. He didn't know what to say. Loki looked and seemed so… strange. Like he was a different person; lost… It was so strange to see his former brother that way. "Loki..."

"Please don't start with your sympathy. It's meaningless." Loki murmured and sighed. "And I am perfectly fine."

Thor felt how he got a bit angry from that. "You are not okay and I see it clearly."

"How come you know?" Loki asked and glanced quickly at Thor and then away again. But before he could look away Thor's strong hand quickly cupped his face and then went behind his neck, making Loki look at him into the eyes. Again a thunder struck and the sky grumbled.

"Then how come you have been crying?"

"…" Loki gritted his teeth again, "what difference does it make if I have cried or not?" Loki tried to get away from Thor by somehow trying to get up but Thor didn't let him.

"It does! Was it my parents who did this to you? Did our father say something?"

"_Your_ father," Loki corrected and oh how obvious the pain was in Thor's eyes.

"…Yes my father. But that is not the point-"

"But it is!" Loki cried with pure frustration. "I am the son of a criminal and so are you! Still they make you look so mighty and wonderful with all your strength." Loki spat and glared at Thor. "I know that what you did was just because your father made you do it, taking me in like this… Your "brother"… Who you don't even need!"

Thor glared at Loki, not understanding why he would say something like that "that is not true! I took you here because I care about you."

"So Odin just made sure you would take me in? To make you tell everything I have been doing, what I have been eating and drinking?!"

"My father did no such thing Loki! He didn't even want you here in the begin with!" Thor finally told loudly. He sounded almost bitter while talking. "He didn't want you here... He thought it would only bring harm. I disagreed with him and because of that I haven't talked with him since."

Loki didn't want to believe it but because he knew Thor better than anyone Loki knew he wasn't lying. He didn't need to ask why because he already knew the answer that he would get. Of course he knew; everyone would have known. "…" Loki looked away and then just couldn't help himself "Why?"

Thor let out a small chuckle, "because I care about you of course."

"Of course."

Even after that conversation the rain did not stop. Only the loud thunder stopped its horrible rumble in the sky. And still did Loki lie on the couch looking out of the window. Thor had went to the store and had even promised to buy something extra good to get Loki back from "such dark state of mind" – as he liked to call it.  
Loki wondered how Thor could show such a face even after Loki's rather cruel words. Even 10 years ago Thor was the one to forgive him right away. If he was angry it didn't last very long. Some times it was irritating, even. Usually people would see it odd to forgive someone so easily, especially when Loki had done so many 'tricks' on Thor, but then again Loki wouldn't have anyone if Thor wasn't so forgiving and kind towards him. This made Loki smile a bit – oh how sad it was to think something like that…  
And there was another thing Loki was asking wondering – again. Why did Thor care about him so much? Even though that question had a very simple answer and every time the black haired man asked that question he even heard the answer in his mind: because Loki was Thor's brother, because Loki was dear to him. That was clear to Loki. But what he didn't understand was _**why**_**.** Why was he so important to Thor? He had no good sides only bad ones. Or so many people he had met have said. Those couple of girls he had dated said the same thing. "You don't care" was their usual comment and the last. So why did Thor care? Or was it the normal explanation: sentimentality? That normal family-kind-of love?

Again Loki leaved his wonderings to that. He never really got an answer but then again if he had the chance to ask Thor why he did care, he didn't let himself. It was too stupid. He must have sounded like a teenage girl…

"Heh."

So as the rain continued to pour down from the sky, from those dark clouds, Loki closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"_Maybe I will know… Some day."_

* * *

So umm... Hello! Heh. This chapter was hell to write let me tell you. You don't know what it is to come up with a "new story line". Or I don't know, maybe you do. But still, please, be gentle with me. I know it's horrible and it's long but... ;_; I'm sorry. And I would be happy if you would give me as much as opinions as you can! Really, it would help me. And sorry about the grammar again. I was a bit lazy when I read it through... I know there must be a lot of things wrong there. So... Until next time! And now my promise is to give you some awesome Loki moments in the next chapter~! :D

So please review~ ;u; Bye!


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